Listening to the drivel deserves a prize

“India will win,� said the Voice of India on Sony Max, a few hours before the match against England was to begin. A young Sikh dismounted from his cycle in Delhi, looked at the camera and said, “ The Turbanator holds the key.� Other young men, in different parts of the country, dismounted from different means of transportation and named different holders of the key.
The expert panel, in the meantime, was involved in more serious deliberations: how many fours would India concede? Kapil Dev delegated his answer to Kris Srikkanth, who predictably misunderstood the question, while Tiger Pataudi, claiming a difficult childhood relationship with arithmetic, declined an answer.But, then, why would they bother? The Predikta prizes (cars, cruises, cellphones), were going to viewers, not to them. On the other hand, that’s only fair, considering that it’s the viewer who has to listen to all the experts’ drivel.
It’s so much better when we can get out of the studio and look at the action. Like seeing Wasim Akram become the first bowler in history to take 500 wickets in One-Day Internationals. Given the choice, Akram might have preferred a better way of reaching the landmark (the ball trickled off an inside edge and took its time to dislodge a bail), but none of us can choose either our arrivals or our departures. Ask Shane Warne!
Akram’s feat is made even more notable because he actually bowls the ball, as opposed to chucking it. Many of the world’s leading bowlers, current or recent, are in Bishen Singh Bedi’s memorable phrase “Javelin Champions�. Some of them you can call Constant Chuckers (Muttiah Muralitharan, Grant Flower), while some are Special Delivery Chuckers (Brett Lee and Akhtar’s fastest balls, Harbhajan Singh’s extra tweaker). The fact that the world’s leading Test wicket-taker, Courtney Walsh, also belonged to the latter club, makes Akram’s feat even more special.
But, then, why shouldn’t the chuckers chuck? It gets them an obvious extra advantage, and if world cricket’s policing body lets them get away with the bent elbow, they are not likely to stop. Morality has never been a question of absolutes; it’s always been a matter of what you can get away with.
Which is precisely why when everyone made a fuss about Shoaib Akhtar breaking the 100 mph speed barrier, no one asked “Was the delivery fair?� For all we know, it was, with the arm ramrod straight, and only the legitimate whipping action of a strong wrist which gave the ball that extra momentum. But if it wasn’t, should we applaud the record?